'THE' Traffic

I realised I haven't posted about traffic here! Hmm, strange, when you arrive it's the first thing you notice and the ONLY thing you talk about. And it's nuts.

After almost a year, the 'flow' still baffles me. It's like a metal ballet, like walking on water... it's surreal how a system based loosely on the simple adage 'don't HIT anything' can possibly work, and yet it does...mostly.

Take a look at this youtube link to see what I mean.... then... a few tips!

www.youtube.com/crazy_hanoi_intersection

Haha, ok mum don't freak out. It's organized chaos, seemingly insane...and yes, it is a little. But there is method to the madness, it takes a while to get 'driving eyes'...the rule when driving is - take care of what is in front of you and the other guy will do the same. Strangely, it works.

As a pedestrian, remember drivers judge where you are 'going to be', not where you are when they see you. With this in mind, although it goes against every instinct, DO NOT STOP when you see a bike or car coming straight for you.

1. Walk at a slow, consistent pace
2. Don't make any erratic movements - yes, even if there is a pile of something disgusting in your path.
3. Try not to make eye contact - difficult at first, but it gets easier
4. Don't wear earphones, being able to hear the traffic is a good thing sometimes
5. Remember, they have brakes. And they do/should/usually use them.

^. And finally, just take a deep breath and step out. You'll be surprised.

Vegan Chocolate Cake

I've decided to go vegan...

It's Week One... so...we'll see how it pans out. But for the short term at least, I am going to be a very conscious eater.

There are many reasons (and we all know why)...I want to be more self sufficient and not rely on wee animals, it's the 21st century - we're educated and it's easy to stay healthy, the environmental impact, it's lower in fat and better for my heart and cholesterol...

...and one look at the PETA website is enough to turn anyone's gastronomic habits in a better direction! Ack, let's face it who wants to eat tortured animals.

There's a whole world of amazing, simple and delicious food out there that doesn't involve any animal participation. I've cooked nachos, vege burgers, spinach quiche, pesto pasta, mushroom steaks and actually... I think I may actually eating BETTER than I was before!

As I type a delicious chocolate cake is bubbling away in my oven! And it's totally guilt-free...well, almost... I didn't say fat-free did I!

UPDATE: The chocolate cake was terrible...and so was the second attempt...hmm..at least my drumming group enjoyed them! It's back to the chocolate cake drawing board.

Jobs in Hanoi

Wanna know the worst job in Hanoi?

Yep, you guessed it...

... EGG DELIVERY MAN!

I tried to find a photo to aptly describe the ridiculousness of this job on Hanoian streets. Because the traffic here is something else... let alone the quality of the roads.

Anyway, about a month after I arrived, I saw the most amazing thing. A motorbike covered in thousands of eggs stacked high in crates. The delivery man was literally surrounded back, top and sides, by eggs.

The look of sheer terror on his face was unforgettable.

(And I thought teaching 30 five year old's required concentration.)

On Houses

And if it wasn't already clear from my last post. I adore my new space!

I have finally taken some photos and popped them up with comments and the like...mainly for you mumma!
www.flickr.com/photos/tabithatravels

I feel a little house crazy, so I think Khalil Gibran describes it best when he says...

"Build of your imaginings a bower in the wilderness ere you build a house within the city walls. For even as you have home-comings in your twilight, so has the wanderer in you, the ever distant and alone.


Your house is your larger body. It grows in the sun and sleeps in the stillness of the night; and it is not dreamless.

Does not your house dream? And dreaming, leave the city for grove or hilltop? Would that I could gather your houses into my hand, and like a sower scatter them in forest and meadow.

Would the valleys were your streets, and the green paths your alleys, that you might seek one another through vineyards, and come with the fragrance of the earth in your garments.

But these things are not yet to be.

In their fear your forefathers gathered you too near together. And that fear shall endure a little longer. A little longer shall your city walls separate your hearths from your fields. And tell me, people of 'the world', what have you in these houses? And what is it you guard with fastened doors?

Have you peace, the quiet urge that reveals your power? Have you remembrances, the glimmering arches that span the summits of the mind? Have you beauty, that leads the heart from things fashioned of wood and stone to the holy mountain?

Or have you only comfort, and the lust for comfort, that stealthy thing that enters the house a guest, and becomes a host, and then a master? Ay, and it becomes a tamer, and with hook and scourge makes puppets of your larger desires.

Though its hands are silken, its heart is of iron. It lulls you to sleep only to stand by your bed and jeer at the dignity of the flesh. It makes mock of your sound senses, and lays them in thistledown like fragile vessels. Verily the lust for comfort murders the passion of the soul, and then walks grinning in the funeral.

But you, children of space, you restless in rest, you shall not be trapped nor tamed. Your house shall be not an anchor but a mast. It shall not be a glistening film that covers a wound, but an eyelid that guards the eye.

You shall not fold your wings that you may pass through doors, nor bend your heads that they strike not against a ceiling, nor fear to breathe lest walls should crack and fall down. You shall not dwell in tombs made by the dead for the living.

And though of magnificence and splendour, your house shall not hold your secret nor shelter your longing. For that which is boundless in you abides in the mansion of the sky, whose door is the morning mist, and whose windows are the songs and the silences of night."

Khalil Gibran

Ambient Hanoi

yo, yo, here we go
the Hanoi choir calls

Chicken, horn, baby, horn...
Chicken, hammering, car rumble...
Neighbours fighting, dog whine...
Oooh surprise... two seconds of silence!
Horn, chicken, dog bark...
baby, car..

On a good Friday karaoke, militant Vietnamese... "mot, hai, ba" floats to my ears.
On a bad Friday the cries of the dead in a literal seance, the screaming and wails assail my senses drinking quietly in third floor flat

After the rains, fat frogs chirp happily in my drain pipes
mad geckos screech fight, flight (or fall) on the walls
Water drip, drips and spatter in noisy luscious lines, running rivulets down my ceiling

In the soft afternoon, harsh voices swirl amidst the pigeons flatter flutter and the general wail of you 'sandwiches, hot cakes, fresh breads..and cake sellers, fruit ladies, bread men and flower ladies tune their vocal instruments to an ear splitting key..

I love the lazy ones with an amplifier attached to bicycle with the pre-recorded static distorting across the power lines into my window..
to my un-Vietnamese mind the sticky rice lady selling ang soi dah sounds like "Asshole Day, Asshole Day" over and over.

my ears have factored in the honking and disseminated it into nothing..constant honking for me is just fine.

Dog, baby, horn, car...

And so goes the ambient base-beat of Hanoi...and I live in a particularly quiet part of town.

Wild Weather

I overslept my alarm this morning, only to be snapped awake by terrific cracks of lightning hitting the earth. A massive tropical storm bellowed through Hanoi wreaking a fair bit of havoc...and I was scared.

I stood on my verandah with a cup of coffee watching very close lightning strikes over the cloud covered lake. I cringed to see a couple strolling down by the water's edge holding ...a massive umbrella. Honestly, Vietnamese people do some dumb things but this was the only time I have seriously wanted to shout out a warning...I mean seriously.

Apparently it's normal for this time of year. Tropical storm Chan-Hom might just be the first of a weekly parade of winds and rain... bummer. For my first tropical storm, it was ok.

Although intense, the sight was nothing like a lightning storm engulfs a volcano in Southern Chile on
this day last year >>>

TESOL Tips # 2

Age: Kids (8 - 11)
Level: Any
Type: Group game
Grammar: Any
Time: 15 mins

Bang, Bang is an fun activity that all kids love and you won't find in any of your teacher training books. I baulked at the idea of 'shooting' my kids at first, but quickly warmed to the idea.

This is an activity best done with small groups. Yes, it SOUNDS complicated but once you start and model the activity a few times, it's quite straightforward.

1. SS form a circle with you in the middle. Pretend to have a gun.
2. Randomly 'SHOOT' a student. She/he drops down to a squat.
3. Then the TWO students on either side turn to face one another...
...this is the 'quick-draw' English vocab part of the game...
4. TWO students say a word/sentence faster than the other and say 'BANG' pretending to shoot. The fastest student to say the word and shoot wins, the loser sits down!
5. The child you initially shot stands up and rejoins the game.
6. Then you shoot another random child and repeat until you have two students left.
Then...end the game..with an old fashioned duel!
7. Two players stand back to back. As you count they each take ONE step. '1, 2, 3' and quickly turn... say their word/sentence and shoot. Whoever is fastest with their sentence WINS!!

Large classes
With large classes or very young kids, I scrap the circle part and just have them come up in pairs and do step 7 only. It gets exciting if you have two teams!

Sentence structure:
For example, 'I like apples, BANG!' or you can hold vocab flashcards, ss watch for the card.

Warning:
This game involves a lot of freedom and ss have a responsibility to play by the rules. If there is a lot of additional 'BANG'-ing in the sidelines, don't hesitate to shut the game down and send them to their seats. They will learn proper game behaviour quickly.

Weird, wonderful Hanoi

I enjoy living in Asia. I've always liked environments that are visually interesting, cluttered, off-center or crowded with color. I love stepping out of my door and into a melee of dogs and traffic, basket ladies and xe-om drivers, wriggly roads that lead nowhere, French inspired storybook houses and general fracas.

I don't mind wiffy smells or stepping over occasional piles of rubbish. I don't fuss over the personal hygiene of my chef. I don't stress about getting places on time. I don't care what parts of animals people find delicious.

I enjoy crossing the road where, when and how I feel like it, carrying construction materials and other oversize miscellany on the back of a motorbike, spitting on the road (yes, like a proper Asian, I spit), joining a queue with other ladies in pajamas buying milk in the morning, bargaining like your life depended on it... then throwing your hands up when you finally reach a price you both expected in the first place...

I like that my eggs still have poo and bits of feathers on them, that mangoes and avocados cost $1 a kilo, that I can greet people by saying 'hello sister' or 'hello brother', that people are open and straightforward (if you're fat, you'll have someone tell you immediately..as if it was a fact you might want to know), that this city nurtures innovators and 'makers of stuff'. I like the fact that everyday items, transportation and dress sense are defined by imagination alone...

Everyday recycling I've seen:
1. Old coke bottles with holes punched in the cap for a watering can
2. Rubber tire treads used to resole shoes
3. Fishing baskets as cages for roosters
4. Colorful hand fans used as lamp shades
5. Hub caps on balancing scales
6. Newspaper to wrap flowers
7. Plastic bags as head gear when it rains
8. Pajamas as everyday clothing
9. Old t-shirts as covers for bird cages

Things that turn my head:
1. Cock fighting outside my primary school
2. Goldfish sellers bicycles stacked with bags of colorful fish and turtles
3. Vietnamese women smoking
4. Accidents
5. Bunny sellers
6. Bullocks pulling 30mts of metal down one of Hanoi's the busiest roads
7. Beggars with electric guitar, amplifiers and a mic
8. A passenger on the back of a motorbike pushing a pushbike
9. A grandfather riding sedately down the road on his granddaughter's pink bmx
10. Avocado and Chocolate smoothies
11. A child in my class with two thumbs..literally..but that's amazing anywhere

Things that make me look away:
1. A man kicking a kitten (what an idiot...)
2. Accidents
3. Guys who pee on the side of the road
4. People hawking loudly then spitting in the pool
5. Oncoming traffic
6. High-rise window washers

Another

"What another would have done as well as you, do not do it. What another would have said as well as you, do not say it; what another would have written as well, do not write it.

Be faithful to that which exists nowhere but in yourself ~ and thus make yourself indispensable."

Andre Gide

Sweet Sanctuary

The decision to remain in Hanoi has been a little difficult in recent months. I miss my mum, and I've been quite sick, also a lack of consistent funds and the aforementioned bout of homesickness (including missing rainforests and clean air) conspired to wear down my resolve.

But the decision to move to bustling, busy Hanoi was the start of a new life and one with so many positives. And now that I have made the transition into a new space I fee like I've turned a fresh page...one with wide, watery vistas and floor-to-ceiling windows.

Yes, it's a brothel. Well, it's an ex-brothel, although a few of the world weary women I've seen trekking up the staircase have me questioning the use of the prefix.

As I look around at Corinthian columns, French ceiling designs, polished wooden floors and wide balcony overlooking an expansive lake, I know I'm in an enviable position.

Once the luxurious Hotel Almaz, it fell into disrepute as one of the most notorious brothels in Hanoi. Renovated by the French it still retains its old world charm, however imbued with a slightly grim atmosphere of disrepair.

Last month I saw two filmmakers on the stairs. When I asked them what they were doing, one of them enthusiastically said they were making a war documentary and this was the creepiest staircase in Hanoi!!

In spite of it's grimy exterior, each living space in the seven story building is a unique oasis. And I'm busily making mine liveable. As an added attraction 6th floor houses an enormous studio for Vietnamese and French artists, the floor below is a Buddhist meditation center and the rooftop looks like a scene out of a 1920's movie with a panoramic view of the surrounding suburb.

I know I sound like I'm selling the place, but I feel truly lucky to have such a sanctuary to garden, work, live and simply be.

I'll pop some more photos up when I've worked out how to reload the batteries in my camera...

The Joys of Engrish

A few months ago, I walked past a hospital. The sign on the wall in massive block letter said "IMPATIENT". I thought I'd found my personal favorite.

Engrish.com has some very funny signs from overseas!

The assumption is they'll serve stiff drinks :)

Hand Grenade?? Fighting fire with fire.

hahaha, succinct...can I still provoke?

Hmm, I'm sure it isn't exactly flying off the shelves..and into nice people's garden salad.

Treading a Path

As I only occasionally ponder the truth in the universe, I was fortunate to stumble on a gem from the mystic poet Kabir..

Kabir was approached by two disciples who wanted intellectual guidance along the mystic path. The master responded:

"Path presupposes distance; if he be near no path needest thou at all. Verily it maketh me smile, to hear of a fish in water athirst!"

:)

Autobiography of a Yogi
Paramhansa Yogananda