Vietnamese culture can be a little confronting to the untrained foreign eye.The shouting, spitting, yelling and lack of concern over personal possessions and personal space have been discussed at length by travellers and expats alike. It seems some Westerners have a fairly dim view of Vietnamese attitude and manners.
But I have watched people interact, and tried to incorporate myself into the culture for over a year now and I have a theory. Everyday life is like living in one enormous Asian family. And coming from an Asian family...yes, there are similarities.
Exhibit A:
1.Yelling, screaming and shouting. People yelling at each other during normal conversation in an Asian household is quite normal among people that like each other. My aunty and mother will have a conversation in Hokkien which can sound as though they are about to begin World War III, when they are talking about shopping.
2. Slapping or physical abuse. People slapping you when they talk, or pulling your arms to get your attention, or hitting to wake you up on a bus. Asian families are tactile and like physical contact. I have been slapped a lot.
3. The Nosy Grandmother syndrome. Random old ladies entering your house, without knocking, to pick up and look at your possessions, or to instructing you on the ways you should wear your clothing on the street is well known and accepted in Asian families.
4. The Greedy Sister syndrome. People (including strangers) grabbing food off your plate while you are eating.. this greedy sister' syndrome..is also quite common (ahem, especially in our house)
5. The Concerned Uncle attitude. Our landlord while delivering our phone bill once, with a swift motion whipped my cigarette out of my fingers, and put it out in my beer!!! I'm still getting over that one.
6. Toilet Manner. People not closing the door while in the toilet in Asian families it's quite normal when you are comfortable with your family. My mother used to yell instructions from the toilet, in fact to this day I still see this as a superior position in the house.
7. Nodding and saying Yes. People saying 'yes' even if they don't understand or agree. An attitude typical in families as a defense against ill will by disagreeing or saying no... even if it means you end up lost in the middle of the night because your taxi driver actually didn't know where he was going.
8. People feeding you. An ancient lady spoon fed me the other day..it's true I could have stepped back/closed my mouth/pushed her spoon away, but there was something bizarrely natural about it, so I ate and backed away slowly mumbling how delicious it was.
You can't say the same things about Australians, Germans or Americans. With our distant colorless, odorless, faceless, impersonal brand of societal living, you could hardly saw we we one big family..
Here, they are. A loud, tactile, slightly money obsessed family, but one that works together, eats together and sleeps together no less.
